Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
