She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
