so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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