Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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