im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
