did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
