love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
