Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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