ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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