that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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