did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
