I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
