I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize