Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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