just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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