am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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