Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
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