yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
