Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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