Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
