Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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