I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
