note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
