I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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