I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
