my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
