lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
