I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
