Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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