weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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