I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
