Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
