she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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