READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
