I wish my penis had an off switch
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize