Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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