Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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