I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
