bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize