I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
