Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Sponge bath it is.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Randomize