I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
