she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
