I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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