I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
