halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
