nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
