I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
