Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i think i have herpe
just one?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
