i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
