you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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