Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
