I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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