My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.