dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great