why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
