Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
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The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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