I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
