That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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