she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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