As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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