She said her name was "party"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
