I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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