okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
