So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
