I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize