ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
