Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
