It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
