I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
